sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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