I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize