super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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