I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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