Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
