I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
