Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
