I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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