I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
