Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
