"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
