All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
