So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I will pee on everything he values.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize