Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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