I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You should frame my arrest warrant.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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