ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
