Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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