i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
