Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
