ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
