well you can't waste a boner
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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