im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize