I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
