Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize