Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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