Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He shit in the fireplace
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
