If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
