My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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