Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize