The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you would pick up someone in the library
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
