Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
