it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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