If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
