YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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