you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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