I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
