Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
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