i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
