Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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