we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
