Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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