maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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