we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
