I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
