i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
