I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Porn is love you can see.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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