K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
