You work out of a Hotel?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
