I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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