This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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