Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
