For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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