He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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