Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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