Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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