how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
