Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
