Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
