normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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