I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
