He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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