just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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