Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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