why didn't you poke me back
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Randomize
